sock knitting mama to twenty little feet!

Belly cast, done!

2012-01-29T12:19:00.001-05:00

So, this morning we FINALLY had time to do the belly cast! We are definitely on the mends around here, but still oh so tired....but I can honestly say for the first time, this past Wednesday I felt ready! I still feel like, really, I have to go through this again, but it all washes away when labor starts....I'm excited to hold her, to wrap her up in all her hand knits and all our love. The children are really excited.....especially since she WILL be born at home and they all want to be present. I mean really, how many of us can say we were in the room when you were born to our siblings....I cannot wait to give them that gift of a lifetime....yes, I am ready, finally!

One last time, as a WIP????????

Tears of Joy......

2012-01-23T14:28:00.001-05:00

Ok, this is not the baby post, yet, but is very close to it! I have met a wonderful women named Iris from Germany through Raverly. We have exchanged gifts of yarn and today she sent me mine, with the ABSOLUTE BEST BABY gift EVER, even out of all 11, this is the best gift I have ever gotten.....I cried when I opened it, crying now, she has touched me so deep.....I love this and will cherish it and cannot wait for the day to tell her about the history behind it.....LOVE!

Strep throat+head cold+stomach bug=BLIZZARD!

2012-01-23T08:52:00.002-05:00

What have we been up too you ask??? I think the title tells the story! So, I have said this little one will make her arrival during a blizzard, well, I was a bit correct, I think! The part I got wrong was it was not a blizzard of snow, but a blizzard of sickness and that folks, is what we are in and trying to trench our way through! Hope all is well with you, and hopefully up next, baby announcement time! Till then, keep warm or dry, and stay healthy, and lots of love to all.

Birthdays and a New Year...hopefully a better new year!

2012-01-13T05:48:00.002-05:00

As I type, I am officially 35 weeks and really feel run down tired. A good tired it is indeed, busy doing grocery shopping, getting prepared for the arrival of this little girl, and just well, life in general. I cannot believe the time is almost here.....feels like yesterday finding out we were pregnant and then losing her, only to have had this little one survive. Amazing and I can hardly wait to wrap my loving arms around her.....soon, soon enough!

Christmas and 15 year Wedding Anniversary!

2012-01-13T05:44:00.002-05:00

Christmas morning 2011, pictures say enough don't you think?

For our 15th Wedding Anniversary we ate at Shady Maple, a Smorgasbord. The children had a blast and would love to go back, but Jamie and I both agree 100% on this, that once a year is totally enough trips to this eatery!

Happy 11th Birthday Tessa!

2012-01-09T17:19:00.001-05:00

Oh my, I am so behind....but have yet to forget a birthday...and today is Tessa's! Wow, I really cannot believe this girl is 11...we are so proud of our Tessa Lily! Such a helper with the little ones, she loves to play with them, hold them, get them juice if need be....Tessa, we love you so much and are so thankful to have you as part of this family! I hope your day was/is wonderful, we love you! Keep it up girl, you make us proud!

Happy 5th Birthday to Maeve!

2012-01-04T09:25:00.001-05:00

5 years old all ready! She is such a joy and adds such sweetness to this family, I could not imagine life without her, it would be quite dull I shall add! Full of spunk and everything else, we love you Maeve and are honored you choose us to be your parents!
Happy Birthday girl!

Happy 12th Birthday Dawson!

2011-12-29T11:23:00.002-05:00

12 years ago, I remember I started labor early, it went slow throughout the day, but later that night Dawson was born! Chubby little cute Dawson! We love you and are so proud of you! Keep up your wonderful, full of life spirit, we all love you!

Hope you have a wonderful, happy birthday!

Chritsmas 2011

2011-12-29T11:14:00.001-05:00

Some Baby Knitting.....

2011-12-20T12:00:00.002-05:00

Above is my favorite so far, knitted in one day too, so another will definitely be made, just in what color!

Christmas Outings......

2011-12-20T06:01:00.001-05:00

Tessa square in the middle smiling away! This was her 5th grade Christmas chorus concert. Loved it, and so did she. She looked and they all sounded so good, cannot believe she will be in Middle School next year...really cannot believe this!

Eve's 7/8th grade formal has come and went. I was so impressed by her choice of dress, shoes, everything! She really is growing up, but not too fast as I saw many that have chosen that path....thank goodness for her smarts and her daddy's love and help, between the three of us, we know!

Ahhh, it would not be Christmas without Christmas in the Valley, where people gather and walk down main street Oley singing Christmas carols, just like old times and right out of a storybook these days! Did I ever tell you how much I love Oley....yeah, I have, but will die saying it every time we embark on these sort of traditions our town holds.......Jamie and I say, the children have high standards to fill when they chose to live where they do....it is going to be hard to find someplace like this place!

Pictures of home life lately..........

2011-12-20T05:57:00.001-05:00

Christmas movies, I think Rudolf was this one, Aspen watching his Bumble for the first time.

Griffen and the gingerbread house he made in Kindergarten. Yummy, and it too did not last long!

Celeste, hiding when a friend of mine dropped in to return some knitting needles yesterday. Her face is all puffy for she has been fighting a cold of sorts that has been draining through her tear ducts, really gross in the morning, but has since been better, go figure!

Christmas Baking!

2011-12-20T05:54:00.004-05:00

So, I have a plenty of pictures to share, most of them have been taken by Miss Eve, but not a lot of time{isn't that always the case?} I have broken them into three posts, the first being the typical traditions we have started here in this household. Most if not all were traditions of my childhood and how do I love sharing them with our children! First was the Chex Mix, which is more ohhhh, 4x the recipe, I kinda just wing it, but one thing I know of is I use a whole box of all four Chex's and a plenty more of seasoning and such ;) Yes, it is that good they scurry to the table to dig into their favorite pieces while still fresh hot out of the oven! Can you just smell it.....mmmmmm, it is almost all gone, lasts all but 2-3 weeks in this house!

Next is the Spritz cookies....by far my favorite! These batches were done by Eve, and the decorating by the children. They are all gone, maybe a few on the more browner side are left.

Another tradition, my Aunt Betty's fruit bread. This is my second attempt and I must say, it was good, not great nor will it ever be as good as hers. This is one of my favorites and always reminds me of Christmas at my house. The children are eh about it yet....like I said, it was good not great~yet!

And yesterday was a day for Russian Teacakes. The children love these and you can always tell when they have snuck into the container, their shirt generally tells the story of powder sugar down the front, not to mention the dirty kitchen counter and floor, but it is only one time a year right!

December 1st, Merry Christmas!

2011-11-29T09:31:00.001-05:00

Merry Christmas!!!!

May your holiday season be filled with love, joy, and happiness!

Happy Belated Thanksgiving

2011-11-28T10:41:00.001-05:00

Wow, Thanksgiving has come and gone and up next the big one, Christmas! I cannot believe the year has almost passed. So much to be thankful for this past year, but I must admit, I am ready to kiss this one goodbye and welcome in the new one with open arms, along with a brand new little life to welcome as well! I cannot wait to hold her in my arms, for hours on end, to nurse her even in the crazy hours of the night, they are going to have to PRY her away from me! Yes, this upcoming year is going to be a joyous one, I just know it!

We enjoyed our 40lb fresh turkey from the Toths this year again. From the mouth of Maeve,

"It's GINORNOUS!"

An after dinner walk, pictures taken by Eve as I was at the house with a sleeping Celeste.

And the above shot.....a sneek peak at the Christmas card ;)

I hope you had a wondeful Thanksgiving and are ready to enjoy this wonderful finish to the year, I know I am!

Happy 6th Birthday Griffen!

2011-11-14T20:57:00.001-05:00

6 years ago, our little brownie boy joined us bright and early in the morning! I recall his birth as the most peaceful and calmest births to date, I loved birthing him here in this house, hence his middle name of Stone from the stone house in which we moved into. Yes Griffen, you are loved tremendously and are so sweet, we all love you and are so happy you are a part of this family. Your my only true brunette son, I love you so much!

Hope your day was wonderful and all your wishes come true!

Halloween, trick or treating, part 3 and finally caught up!

2011-11-07T11:15:00.001-05:00

Well, I will almost be done~need Jamie's help on uploading some more Rhinebeck photos of all of us!

So after our 69 news interview, Maeve starting crying her ear hurt and Celeste and Aspen had a awful cough, off to the doctors{which I LOVE dearly and cannot thank enough for squeezing three appointments in at such a late call in the day}. All three on anti-biotics and came home and slept. We were still without electric but that did not stop the trick o treaters! I stayed home, Celeste was still sleeping and needed it. About 20 minutes after they left, the electric came back on, I literally cried! I cried for it to stay on this time for the night before we awoke at 1 am and it stayed on for oh, about 5 minutes then went back out! What a trick on us! So off my dear husband went, with 9 kids Trick or Treating on Main Street Oley!

Miss Celeste loving her Pinapple Sublime cupcake this past weekend.

Whew, I might be all caught up......gotta run though, too much time has all ready been spent on this SLOW computer!

Till next time.......

Snow before Halloween, part two....

2011-11-07T10:58:00.003-05:00

This post really need not a lot of words.....on Saturday October 29 2011 we got over 14 inches of snow. Along with 2.5 days of no electric, houses down the road still are out, OUCH! We also got a day off of school, on 69 news again and a huge ton of work ahead of us in the tree cutting down or cleaning up to do!

Enjoy, I feel like I missed it being without power, but hopefully this is just the beginning of snow for us this year, crossing my fingers!{and of course the leaves will be off, so it wont be so bad right? I can eat my words later, but I LOVE this time of year!}

Crazy start to Halloween~part one!

2011-11-07T10:22:00.002-05:00

So, nothing like playing catch up on the blog again.....so sorry for this! I really am finding time slipping through my hands! On a positive note, I am knitting, not a bad excuse, no? But between all the soccer, feild hockey and Ryder marching in Halloween Parades{which are all almost OVER, last weekend of soccer is this weekend, hurray!} time has not been on my side for blogging! Not to mention SNOW and out of electric for almost 3 days again{some are STILL out, YIKES!} Jamie trying to switch over our computer to a better one{still NOT done, frustrating when this one is so slowwwwww!} But we are all alive, most healthy and so excited for some good stuff, Thanksgiving, Christmas and then BABY! Which btw, we have let it be known, is a girl! Yes, a first for us, back to back girls.....you would think being number 11 nothing new to us, but she is! I broke down, I had to, yarn shopping with my girlfriends, I had to be able to buy pink yarn and trust me, I am not a liar, I cannot lie, not like something about that to my close friends, so we told everyone and now you!

Tessa, a homemade bat~LOVE it!

Leif, a werewolf, fitting I would say!

Sawyer, a scary troll~funny to us for he is funny, not scary!

And Griffen, a ninja~he does sneak up on you quiet and stealth like!

Rhinebeck Photos

2011-11-07T10:10:00.000-05:00

Thank you so much Jeannine for taking these, you saved me and my broken heart!

Happy 3rd Birthday Aspen!

2011-10-18T12:54:00.000-04:00

Yes, my little blonde is 3 today! He is a lovable, sweet charmer who has the most dreamy eyes out of all of our children! People often think he is ready for a nap, but nope, I like to call them his dreamy eyes. I love my little Aspen, Happy Birthday little boy, you are such a blessing and a gift to us, we all love you so much!

Enjoy your day!

Rhinebeck in pictures now, description soon.....

2011-10-17T17:13:00.002-04:00

Yes, Rhinebeck was SO MUCH FUN! I should start out by saying, every year for the past three years I have wanted to go. But sickness, a baby and weather, it just never worked out! This year it did! Started out Jamie and I awoke at 3am. Got the van all loaded up with the packed lunches~which were really fun to make, felt like a field trip for school, 12 brown bags and all, snacks, drinks, change of cloths for we carried all the children out of bed straight out to the van in their jammies, so by 420ish we were off! So we were driving along, I think we were on, oh gosh, cannot remember what road, a 4 lane highway when a deer nearly ran into us, blink of an eye it turned back, the most frightening thing yet in the van. Did not like that! We still forged on, daybreak came, we stopped at Starbucks. Jamie and I got our much needed coffee's and we dressed the children. Uh oh, the day before, Aspen decided to wash off this boots, with the garden hose, we dried them in the dryer, but forgot them there! So, off to Wal-Mart to buy Aspen a pair of shoes, and Sawyer a shirt, he swore he packed one, but nope, no shirt was ever found in the van! Onward, we made it there by 10ish......the children were so excited! It was far less crowded than I expected, we decided to part ways, I went off shopping and Jamie took the gang to watch the Alpaca/Llamas jumping show. I was overwhelmed by everything, so much to the point, I merely bought 4 skeins of Sanguine Gryphon, a sheepskin{which I have ALWAYS wanted one since Ryder was a baby to photograph on, FINALLY got me one for this babe!} apple cider doughnuts, maple cotton candy{blew me away how good this was} Aspen and Maeve the color work hats{LOVED them and have tried color work only to realize I need to take a class or buy a really good book to "get it"}. Just so much yarny goodness and the atmosphere was amazing, the children even felt it and really would like to come back again next year! I was amazed at how wonderful this festival was and how they picked up on that vibe! So, I met some pretty amazing Ravelry friends too......I totally had a preggo brain moment and forgot all about the Madelinetosh meet-up{that went on right when we got there, so I think maybe that is why I forgot, the excitement of being there and all!} how mad was I when I realized this! The funniest and greatest moment was when we were all sitting there eating our lunch in the parking lot, found a clearing and were just enjoying the moment when Jody from Raverly pulled up in her car and asked if I was Nicole, she actually found us here, it was AWESOME! Again I was late in putting two and two together, till after she left of which knitter she was on Ravelry and missed the opportunity to tell her what a inspiring knitter she is to me! Her work, and color choices ;), are astounding! Maybe next year my mind will be in a better mind frame? We meet up with the Yarn Hoars group at around 2ish, oh what a blast those women are! I really would love do the weekend with them next year, we will see how it goes! They all are such a inspiration and were so kind to us in their compliments about the children, the sweaters I handknit them all and were wearing! I have to thank Jeannine for the pictures she snapped of us, silly me and my preggo brain did not snap any of us with our camera, even though we had it along{btw, Eve is deserving of all the credit for the photos we do have, thanks Eve dear!} So we left a little after 3 and really, I am not bothering to ruin this story about the drive home{traffic, construction and congestion} Lets just say, the children were TROOPERS and stayed home from school the next day, Griffen and Dawson however, wanted to go and did so! It was a terrific trip and on the agenda for next year......hope to see you there!

Dragonboat Festival, Halloween Party and my sweater!

2011-10-17T16:43:00.003-04:00

My finished sweater, Cassis in Madelinetosh Vintage Fig. Love this and have been wearing it nonstop!

Below are pictures from both Halloween parties. We did it a bit differently this year, Elementary children were Friday night, Middle and High were Saturday. It went really well and I think I like the idea of splitting it up, but maybe next year on the same day, different times?{a wonderful idea my girlfriend Natalie thought of, gotta give her credit. for that was a good one}

Maeve and her BFF, Bella{Natalie's daughter}. Those two are going to be something when they start school next year together.

This is the "hayride" we talked about every year. Eve took all these pictures, she said it was kind of hard to shoot in the dark. Just imagine your yard with 50+ little kids running around, screaming and yelling and having a blast. Old fashioned fun time every year!

Above and below are two shots from the "bigger" age party. It was so funny to see how different all these children/teens act. Not so little anymore, but still lots of fun!

Below are pictures from the Dragonboat Festival. Jamie only got in one race out of three, sad about it but happy to have done it once at least. It apparently was run by a new company this year and along with a strong current made the timing off. Three boats overturned as well, including a police boat, not a good thing, but all were ok!

Our firsthand view was lovely. The spread of food there was so delicious along with a wonderful, supportive group of people. We felt very blessed and lucky to have been part of this and Jamie is all set to do it again next year, I think he found a little outing for himself, finally! Thank you Pete and Natalie so much for including us in this event and hope to be there next year, to win all three for you!

October, the beginning in words...

2011-10-06T07:41:00.002-04:00

So, I have not pictures to post, my ultrasound went smoothly last week, all looks well, thank goodness! I have to admit, I was tremendously worried for the past 10 weeks. This one started out a rollar coaster and while I have enjoyed it for the most part, it has been by far the most scariest. I have realized how lucky we have been, so blessed and I just never realized how lucky we are till now. This little life is so anticipated and will be greeted with such love and you are going to have a tough time prying him/her out of my arms, I may never want to share this one, ;) So all that being done, I have such little time till the arrival, I want to savor every moment, kick, hiccup, everything they do! I love being pregnant, I love being a mom to all them, and one of the most precious things I love being, is wife to this awesome man! Thanks love, without you, there would be none!

So as I type this, I realize what I have to do in the next 24+ hours....yes, the annual Halloween party starts tomorrow night....should be a good one, a year FINALLY with pictures, LOL! Not going to promise a date of when the pictures go up, but soon I promise! Just know that I am enjoying this life, one day and moment at a time!

Wet, soggy, dreary September, be gone please!

2011-09-28T11:03:00.002-04:00

Ok, so I am behind a little....the Oley Fair has come and gone! But that is ok, we had a great time this year, worked out a few new kinks in our scheduling of it and our lived around it{cough, cough, RYDER and this new band life} but all in all, this year was nice, even the weather for the better part of it. I shall just leave you to enjoy the pictures, pick out who is who in the picture if you can and again, enjoy!

The picture above was taken by Tessa and I believe won 4th place at the fair. A women actually came up to me at the fair and asked it she was one of the babies in the photographs entered in the fair! That was awesome itself!

Yes, she has a foot thing and likes to pick grass, dirt, stones and such off of them...too cute to watch!

The weather has been so dreary and wet, that I have yet to snap a picture of me in my new finished sweater this past weekend, I like to do it outside to show the color off.......so here is a taste of it for now....and yes, that is my belly keeping it open! I am 20 weeks this Friday and our ultrasound is that day too.......I am so excited to see this little person, but NO we are not finding the sex, not till the birth! Yes, I really want to be surprised even after all we have been through. It really does not matter, this one is so loved and desired all ready so much, that truely a healthy happy baby is all we so desire......more to post on Friday! Oh and on Saturday, my dear friends Dragonboat race festival in which Jamie is participating in by rowing on the boat{feel free to sponsor him if you would like to donate to their wonderful cause} This event has eluded us that I finally put my foot down and said Jamie has to row, so we have to make it there, NO EXCUSES will be made{unless someone is throwing up sick, KNOCK ON WOOD!}. Pictures to be viewed of this too, should be a blast!

Guess what is coming up next Friday and Saturday........the Annual Freed Halloween party! We made a second date this year for the older ones, so some pictures WILL BE taken this year......gotta give the little ones some fun and torture the big ones, right?*chuckle chuckle* I don't even have time to think about this event till next week though! Wish us well weather, PLEASE!!! Seems every year there is rain, but the children never seem to mind it! Us on the other hand, well, Jamie and I live with it, after all this is better than 10 birthday parties any day!!!!

9/11, 10 years ago

2011-09-11T06:32:00.000-04:00

Ten years ago, Jamie and I did what everyone told us to do. We signed Ryder up for pre-school, not really wanting to do so, for he seemed fine on his own, learning-wise and social-wise. September 11, 2011 was his first day. I grabbed my camera, crappers, all I had was black and white film in my camera{little did I know what significance that would hold later on} 9am was the start, so I believe the pictures were snapped around 8.30am. Not many people or children for that matter, can say they had their picture taken minutes before the world stopped turning and changed forever, at least how we lived here in the United States. I did not learn of the events till on my way home from dropping him off.....well after 9.30am. I heard it on the radio, called Jamie from my cell phone and asked him if this was a prank the station was playing. I remember exactly where I was, Cedar Crest and Fish Hatchery traffic light......I remember driving to pick him up, hearing again on the radio of a crash in Pennsylvania. I never drove so fast and hard, I just wanted to have and hold my son, safe with me and his family. I had no clue of what was going on, just scarred and terrified of the unknown. Days passed, silence from above, no planes flying in and out of Lehigh Valley International Airport. We picked up the pieces and to this day, I still carry them within my heart. The families, heroes, everyone who was lost that day, still holds a piece of my heart. They have helped me become who I am, my views changed from political to personal. I learned to follow inside of me, my heart told me I did not have to send my children to pre-school, like the "norm" of today. That listening to what you feel, is one of the most important and one of the hardest things to do in your life, after all no one knows your child better than you. Yes, the safety blanket we sleep under was torn off that day, but we somehow managed to pull it back up......but still to this day, it is a constant struggle to keep it on. One that I fight for, not for me, but for my children and future generations. I remain steadfast for what I believe in, that came to light for me from 9/11 and the black and white picture of my son, moments before the America I grew up in and wanted him to know as well, changed and forever slipped away from my grasp.

A Happy Post!

2011-09-07T16:51:00.000-04:00

So, I realized the other day, I need a happy post. A happy post about the children, too much sadness and such going on. We need some happiness around here, have not seen the sun in oh, I really do forget, maybe last Friday or Saturday??? Rain, rain go away, PLEASE!

So, back to our happy post, below you are going to see the stuffed animals, blankets and such that belong to each child. This pictures were not staged, maybe moved a little to be in a better photograph spot, but all were found in their beds, where every night they sleep with their owner! Enjoy, I know I did snapping them!

Ryder's Pengee. While at Gymboree when Ryder was about 8 months, I showed him this stuffed penguin and he latched onto it and would not let go, seriously, WOULD NOT LET GO! Needless to say, Jamie agreed to pay full price and that the start of the love story of Ryder and penguins!

Eve's Beary. This started out as mine, I worked for Gap Kids and one Christmas, before any children, my co-workers and I feel in love with these stuffed polar bears, we all basically bought one. Eve carried Beary even when he was bigger than she. I will have to dig out some pictures to one day post how we carried the two and how awkward it was to carry her and her bear!

Dawson's blankie. It was a Classic Pooh Bear Bedding I had bought for Ryder. Ryder never latched onto it, but Dawson did. Even as a baby he slept with it and it has managed to keep its look, even after so many washings!

Tessa's Batty. Yes, a Halloween bat candy bag it was meant to be used as and did for one year. She would not let us put it away with the rest. Instead, she loved it so much I actually had to re-stuff it after a year of hugging and loving!

Leif's Peazy. When Leif was about 7 months old, we were shopping at the Disney Store. Again, like Ryder, WOULD NOT LET GO! Came home with us and has slept with him ever since!

Sawyer's doggies. He has many of them, and all protect him at night. He also has a blankie, but that is MIA...Jamie says it may be in the attic??? Will update if it is a found!

Griffen's Black Bear. Originally bought for Sawyer by me on a trip out to Boyd's Bear in Gettysburg, Sawyer never grew attached to it. Somehow, Griffen did and still sleeps with his Black Bear. The picture down below is of the tag that Griffen as a baby would hold and play while falling asleep. He still grabs it till this day too!

Maeve's musical seahorse. Maeve latched onto this when I bought one for Celeste. She really never had a comfort item, sleeping with Jamie and I was enough for her, but this she loves to fall asleep too now!

Aspen and his monsters. The first love was the green monster. While at Carter's I was all paid and ready to leave the store and saw the lost green monster. Love at first sight for Aspen! Then Bumble was bought for Eve this past Christmas. She was TERRIFIED of him while watching Rudolf when she was little so we thought it would be cute for her to get, but little did we know, Aspen feel in love with him and would not let go? Who would have thought such a scary looking thing could be loved so much by a 2 year old?

Celeste, the grouchy ladybug, she loved chewing on the antennas and still loves squeezing it! Then the silly giraffe/zebra stuffed toy my father fetched out of one of those claw toy grabbing contraptions! Not sure what attracts her to it, the colors are AWFUL, but she does love it! Yes, that is her sleeping in the background, head elevated and all for she has a cold......the wonderful back to school sniffles....every year they bring them home Labor Day weekend. But this is a happy post right, no complaining from me! I hope you enjoyed this little piece about the children, they do not know I did this and hopefully the older ones will love it! Happy rainy day!

Irene and the first day of school!

2011-08-31T11:10:00.001-04:00

Oh where to start, lets see. Saturday night we decided to watch a movie{first mistake}. We watched Something Borrowed which was excellent, Ryder and Eve even enjoyed it and we all could not stop laughing! We knew Irene was here, it actually started to pour and I made the comment, that the electricity might go out and we miss the end of the movie~boo, wish it would have now looking back! So we went to bed around 12.30pm{second mistake}. I have to explain something. We have a 200+ year old stone home. The basement is well, scary to some, and to most, you must duck down, especially Jamie and I. It has a low ceiling and a pit in the middle for we have three areas that literally there are fountains of water that pour up and out from the cement. A little around 1~1.30am someone woke up and it was PITCH BLACK, electric out! We did not check the basement{third mistake, BIG mistake!} It was a rough night, the little ones kept awakening, Jamie out on the couch with some, me in the bed with some. So come 7am, I awoke, first thing I did was run downstairs......yeah, fourth mistake! We were seriously flooded, without electricity{hence, no sub-pump working :( } and no generator{fifth mistake?}. Luckily, our more than generous neighbors the Chapman's let us use their generator, for the next 44 hours off and on, oh, just let the cat out of the bag, yes, we were 44 hours without electricity, the children's last day of summer vacation, no electric! Their first day of school, NO ELECTRIC! Jamie and I were losing it, it is something we NEVER want to go through AGAIN! EVER!!!!! The children I must say, extremely impressed me. They have never been so happy to go to school.....there was normalcy there, hot food and cold water, toilets that flushed normally, oh and electricity! LOL! The funniest thing about all this, you have no idea how fast it gets dark. Sunday and even Monday night, we were no where prepared. All of us running around like chickens with their heads cut off, scrambling to get jammies on, teeth brushed, contacts out......yes, it was CRAZY fast how light just disappears.....gone, only flashlights{which by the way, on Thursday I went grocery shopping at Wal-Mart and something, a little voice inside me said buy some flashlights, which I did and I think next time there, I might pick up some more, just in case...!} Yes, the little things such as washing your hands after gardening, my yearly ritually of buying the fall mums, I get out of the house before the tears of missing my children start flowing, visit Glicks Greenhouse for them and they are BEAUTIFUL every year and came home to plant them, told Jamie I was going to run inside and wash my hands before we caught Griffen off the bus, got to the sink and even turned on the hot water, DARN IT! How easily you forget!!!! Oh, and last week our hot water heater died.....it was not till Saturday I had hot water since Monday....another long story and week I care to put behind us.....oh and don't even ask about the toilets......use your imagination, we do have a great source for water though, the pool! Thank goodness for Ryder and his patience of filling up the buckets!

So, here are some pictures of our first day of school.......

Dunkin Doughnuts for the second day in a row....dont think I will be hungry for them in a few months!

Starting left, Dawson and his first day of middle school, looks thrilled huh? Well, that's Dawson, you never really know what he is thinking! Ryder, first day of high school, WHAT??!! High school, ops sorry I fainted and had to pick my sorry a$$ up! Still cannot believe it, but am so happy we have a high schooler in the Oley Vally School District~ I <3 this place and am so jealous of our children. If there is one dream I would love my children to complete for me, this is the one! Jamie and I are in no doubt agreement, this school rocks and are both jealous of our own children......tears are welling up!

Oh and our happy little Eve a big 7th grader this year! She loves school and excels in it!

Our stop for the morning....wire down the road so the bus could not make the loop around the "block". You would be amazing, but not surprised, at how many people would drive past and I would think, silly person, don't know how to read? and a minute two or later, there they would fly by again! People really amaze me!

Left, Griffen and his first day of Kindergarten! He LOVED it and went smiling and came home smiling, even after a 1 hour bus ride home~road detours, late getting them on and such....then little Aspen, stayed home. Sawyer, 2nd grade and going to learn cursive~I think he will like it, he is very good and creative at things like that! Tessa, 5th grade and her last year of elementary school, even though she looks like she is ready for Middle! Leif, 3rd grade and loves it, he definitely needs to be kept busy, gets so bored at home! And little Maeve, who goes next year but is ready now she says....I need the extra year home with her!

Griffen, great shot taken by Daddy!

Happy 13th Birthday Eve!

2011-08-26T21:44:00.002-04:00

Happy 13th Birthday to our little Eve'rs! Wow, we are the parents TWO teenagers......say happy birthday to Eve and a prayer for us, lol! Really, we could not be more proud of you Eve!

Love you always, Mom and Dad!

Life Ain't Always Beautiful

2011-08-23T06:49:00.000-04:00

Sung by Gary Allen. A sad, but very true song. Seems this is stuck in my head after probably the hardest week of my life. I warn you, this post is going to be tough to read, going to break your heart......Around here there a rather two large families who reside in Oley, The Allens and us, The Freeds. Trish has 13, me 11~but who is counting?LOL! No, really, it is kind of funny, people will come up to me and ask if Trish is pregnant and vice versa, they ask her if I am! Really, they can just ask us if they wanna know so bad! Or if one of us just had a baby, oh, they ask the opposite, are you going to have another to catch up? No, it is far from a competition between us. We have an understanding of each other, what it takes and the trials and tribulations to run a large family. Life is nothing like you would imagine, but I would never want any other way of life, we are both truly blessed and know it. Last week though, our lives changed. She lost her almost three year old little boy. He found his way into a car in their driveway, got in but could not get out, and the rest you understand. He was three weeks older than Aspen, and unplanned by Trish and I, they both accidentally shared the same middle name, Tucker. My heart still aches from the pain of hearing of this news last Wednesday evening, shattered into many pieces at the mere thought of one of them gone. An accident that could happen to anyone, and accident that should never happen to anyone. So many times throughout the week, I break down. I hold and kiss my children.........please say your prayers for them, their little one is watching over them, gone all too soon from this world, but in our hearts forever.

Happy 1st Birthday Celeste!

2011-08-20T10:40:00.000-04:00

Yes, my little girl is one today....you find it hard to believe???? Me, where oh where did THAT year go?

{the above taken this morning, loves sleeping on her daddy!}

She is so sweet, she reminds me so much of Ryder. Mellow, calm, but she does have a squeal, a girly~high pitched squeal that makes you laugh! They say she looks like me, but I don't know, she seems to be changing to look like herself{did I make any sense?}

Chocolate cake tonight, so more pictures later......busy day, nothing unusual here!

{these taken earlier this week}

As promised, pictures from the gathering for Celeste's first birthday!

Homemade chocolate cake, always a hit!

Happy Birthday my dear Celeste!

36 and lovin' it!

2011-08-12T09:29:00.000-04:00

Well, they say it gets better as you get older. I sure do believe that for yesterday was one of the best birthdays I can remember! Everyone awoke in a pleasant mood, usually you have one that woke on the wrong side of the bed, but not yesterday! Not only that, but the weather, was absolutely gorgeously perfect! I was kind of bummed that we had to leave home and miss sitting outside in it, but the days adventure proved me wrong. Our little "adventure" started out with a stop at the DMV, yes, 7 years has passed and I got my drivers licence picture taken. Fun, NOT and no, I will not share it! The women was not the most friendly and I could not break her ice, I just wanted to get out of there! After that fun deed was done, off o KOP Mall, another not fun task! Having worked retail how many eons ago, I detest wasting anymore time in a shopping mall. Now, don't get me wrong, I like to shop, but hate being inside a stuffy building. I have taken a fondness of clicking and shipping, worth every penny of shipping, saves me in gas, LOL! As we entered the mall, dead. Hardly a soul around but we soon found where all the commotion was, the Apple Store. Crazy I tell ya, like stepping into another world, country, whatever! Snatched up my birthday present, well, it will be shared amongst everyone, I am totally aware of that, a iPad, with a pink cover of course!LOL! Then we thought we would see the new Vera Bradley store, only to find no opened yet! ARGH! So around the corner to the Lego store. It has been opened for many years, but so much time has passed and my distaste for mall anymore has not given us the opportunity to let the wild ones loose in that store......needles to say, they had a BLAST and many want to visit that store on their birthday....come on guys, I will suck up the shipping charges! Maybe daddy will make that drive, heehee! All in all, they were very good and actually not too bad on the wallet, it was fun! Off to home with a stop at Sonic, yummmmm, then to the Youth League for Tessa field hockey practice then home. Oh, when we got home I had a delicious surprise from my good friend Kim, chocolate covered strawberries delivered by Edible Creations in Leesport. OMG, the were so sweet and delicious....I definitely shared and they did not last a mere 2 hours before they were all devoured! The whole day had little bits of happiness sprinkled throughout it, like Griffens Kindergarten teacher, yay! Many Happy Birthday wishes from Facebook friends, phone calls, the likes of such little things were so pleasant and so appreciated! Thank you everyone, especially Jamie and my children for making this year, a GREAT one! Maybe it is a hint of whats to come.....sure hope so!

Next up, the above little one will be 1 soon.........oh my!

Relief.....

2011-08-10T17:14:00.000-04:00

This afternoon a big hurdle was overcome, we had our NST scan. I always opted out of this test, but this time, with everything we have been through, I said yes with open arms to see this little one. They said everything looked fine, great.......phew! I will get the final results soon, but to hear the tech say from what she saw looked great, that was a relief and a really wonderful day early birthday present. This little one is a miracle, they all are, but this one has a special meaning for us, unsure of what that may be yet, but one thing I know is that life is a gift and cherish it everyday and everyone in it!

Coming to a close...

2011-08-08T08:50:00.001-04:00

Well, 3 weeks from this moment, they will be off on the big yellow bus! We have Griffen starting Kindergarten and I am so happy that he has morning class, getting him off with the others will be so much easier, for him and mommy! Tessa is the big 5th grader and Dawson starts Middle School. And of course, my oldest Ryder starts High School~OMG, where did that come from? I am really not ready for that....we will see in time how I handle it.

Tessa and Maeve, they were touching noses but moved since I had to run downstairs and grab the camera! And yes, they were sleeping not posing for this shot!

Celeste, makes a mad dash whenever that gate is open for the stairs. Not sure if it is she likes her new ability or wants to be with the others, a little of both I believe! She has taken her first steps and just needs the confidence to let go, which will be within the week. Hard to believe a year ago we were all waiting for her to make her appearance!

Number 10 done this past weekend!

2011-08-01T14:51:00.001-04:00

Remember this picture and my goal of knitting each child a sweater this year?

Well, above, they are DONE! Now just need to knit one for Jamie and I......

Ryder, in his Brownstone!

25 years ago

2011-07-29T16:54:00.000-04:00

a tragedy occurred in my life. I was so young, but it taught me so much about life and shaped much of who I am, my beliefs and paths in life. It still does to this day and this time of year, it haunts me. My mothers cousin, a mother of 4~{one of them being my bff/sister} a wife, a sister and a daughter, a loving caring soft spoken women of whom I looked up too and can still this day hear her voice say my name, oh, how I loved how she said it, so sweet and gentle, I admired so much at such a young age, life was taken away too soon by a drunk driver in her own front yard. I remember that night, almost every detail. It was a long night, a long horrible night. I remember how mad I was at how she was taken away, the past year things were changing in my life. I had Karen, a new "sister" to me, a new found friend. I even noticed how good my parents were getting along......I remember my mom crying all night long that night when we came home. The Medevac helicopter flying overhead as we got to the scene, the police reporter that Karen threw a walnut/rock at for taking pictures of the scene......but the one thing that haunts me the most, is after her husband told us all she was gone, that the doctors did everything they could to save her, his words were numb for he was still in shock I now understand, was hearing her youngest daughter, I believe she was 8ish, ask immediately "When is mommy coming home?" Being a mom now, I cry even harder when I remember that moment, the hot tears stream as I type, the stabbing pain in my chest as a mother now, hurts. The tragedy has taught me I have no tolerance for drinking or no sadness for anyone who drinks and drives. I am hardened by the thought of how people can be so ignorant and stupid about drinking, believe me, I tried once being drunk~HATED it, Karen are you laughing right now remembering it, or crying? I have even tried this past month a little bit of mixed drinking, only to wake up feeling like crap and saying this ain't worth it, I like to feel life, even if it is painful, I drink it all in, life that is. To waste my moments not feeling it, is not worth it. Now don't get me wrong, I don't mind if one drinks, it is just not for me. I do not think less of anyone who does either. I do not think I am better than one who chooses to drink either. I take this tragedy as a lesson, one that I do not like in my life, but one that I will not forget either. For you are given everyday as a gift, Vicki awoke this day not knowing it would be her last full day here on Earth as a happy day....that the next day it would all end and she would enter that place that one day we will all go too. I have since that tragic day, taken the knowledge that she will be there to greet me on my day, I will see her beautiful face and loving open arms to hold me.....the only positive that I could pull from that day, sad, but comforting to me at the same time. I know she is watching over us, smiling for she always was and will be that way in my memory!

Vicki on the left, my mom on the right

Me and Karen

This picture was taken right before that tragic day, I remember my mom developing the photos and anticipating them.....it was 25 years ago, but still hurts like it was yesterday!

Breathe, just breathe!

2011-07-28T16:17:00.004-04:00

My life has felt like I have been swimming underwater and I have just risen to the surface and been able to breathe for the first time in weeks.....can you just imagine that, let alone feeling that way? Life feels good now, really good! I am still in disbelief at how blessed we are, that the sheer thought of the day this little one is born, how many tears will be flowing between Jamie and I as we hold this little miracle, survivor of such! Yes, I look forward to that day, knowing it will be so soon......*sigh*! The thought brings tears to my eyes......

So I have been keeping busy, I believe I canned some tomatoes last Wednesday and little Celeste got a hold of one and loved chowing into it. Hard to believe about a year ago I was canning some with her big in my belly, LOL! A year has past so fast, but so filled with life and memories too, that I cherish it all and welcome the years ahead! I did some peaches and nectarines too this past week. Peaches were no fun, nectarines were ok, we will have to see how they taste come winter. Yes, I am praying for a TON of snow...blizzards would be first on my list. And I thought last year was bad, huh, sure whacked me out of that mind frame!

I thank you all for your kind words and wishes, it means ALOT to me and am trying to slowly respond to the emails, face book messages and comments left and even cards sent in the mail...anyone who did such, you touched my heart and filled my eyes with tears of joy, knowing you cared so much and the positive thoughts/prayers for us have been felt and answered. Thank you, thank you so much, <3 from all us here!

Life is amazing....

2011-07-22T15:51:00.000-04:00

and I am speaking in the terms of science this time. How one cannot believe that life starts at conception is completely beyond me. And now even more than ever to know that is the truth for me.......my story started last month. All who have been keeping up with me know what I went through, hell, pure hell. I have not blogged about earlier this week for the story has not ended, I was not ready to write about it yet till I had an answer or ending to tell....I had some blood drawn to see where my HCG levels were this past Monday. Last draw right before my miscarriage they were 25,000. On Tuesday I got the phone call that it was at 125,000. We figured I might be pregnant again, a new pregnancy. So Thursday came and another blood draw, 115,000, worrisome. Today we had an ultrasound and the will of life prevailed~we saw a 10 week old new life with a strong heartbeat. I never lost this baby, a twin perhaps{we will never know what happened} but to say that life begins at 12 weeks is so wrong.......just so wrong in my book! I am still shocked, so on cloud nine, I don't ever want to come down. I thought life was great before, but after today, life is amazing, truly absolutely amazing and wonderful!

Baby #11 Due Date of February 17th 2012

{yes, Leif's birthday}

Weeks worth of photos

2011-07-20T15:27:00.001-04:00

Celeste after picking blueberries, decides she is ready to do stairs, but not yet walking??!!

Blueberry jam and for dinner there was

blueberry pancakes of course!

A wooly bully found so early...does this mean autumn will come sooner...crossing fingers and toes...oh please oh please!

And on Thursday we did Hershey park. OMG, I think I am still recovering from the tiredness of it all!

A chocolate funnel cake, topped with Reeses Peanut Butter Cups. Yes, it was VERY TDF!

Aspen LOVED it, Leif{one in red} HATED it!

There are no pictures of the elders, they were off on their own on roller coasters....I snuck on two of them with them....first time in 10 years I had been on one and still love the wooden ones best!

Full moon later that night....makes sense!

Eve and Tessa dressed up Maeve and curled her hair...she looked like a doll!

And yesterday, sleeping beauties! Today Celeste is 11 months old.......next is a year and where oh where did that go? Does anyone know? I sure don't!

Two signs for one idea......

2011-07-11T10:47:00.000-04:00

Last week I ripped out a coupon for $3 off your purchase from a local orchard that was advertising blueberry picking. It brought back the memories of my Grandfathers blueberry bushes next to his barn, the picking them fresh off the bush, there isn't anything close to it when you get them from the grocery store! My children have never done such a fun childhood thing...sure, we have red raspberries and even wine berries which they love to eat, but blueberries......no bushes yet and not sure we will for they are hard to keep and expensive{both the other berries we have were free and take care of themselves}. So I put the coupon on the refrigerator in hopes to get some motivation to take them, you know how that goes, come September I would have found it and thrown it away with a *sigh* and hope to do so next summer.....nope, another sign came to me yesterday, I came across this beautiful blog and there was the most wonderful idea of blueberry picking container I have seen! And for a family that just went through seven gallons of milk in one week{still not sure how that happened, we usually go through that in two weeks?} it was a perfect sign, with one exception, it was recycling pickup this past Thursday, lol!.....I managed to find 5 along with 2 syrup ones that were perfect for the little ones to hold, not so heavy as the other ones. Cut them, cleaned them and all tied up in the van ready to be full of blue goodness in the morning.

And the morning came, woke the crew up at 7.30{I had originally told them 7, but gave them and extra half hour of sleep, maybe that is why they were happy and so cooperative}. The getting ready went smoothly, the ride up short and the picking......a little over an hour and thirty-one-and-a-half pounds later the containers were all full! Yes, no one complained, they loved it and I see us doing this again, along with some other fruits this season. I think I see a tradition starting here....a great way to start this week! Enjoy the photos, they were taken by Eve.

Picture goodness.....

2011-07-10T18:28:00.002-04:00

She looks and thinks like me, she is in squishy heaven!

No words needed for the above picture!

And again, same as above....

Happy 4th of July, late but still good!

And since Aspen is not allowed in the big pool, a water balloon fight and.....

oooooo, something I thought I would NEVER let them do till we were done having babies, but alas, a mom always steps aside for her children and I caved for Aspen, my birthing pool was used for a different but worth it reason!

An adventure for tomorrow........can you guess what we are doing? Stay tuned.......

Aspen's surgery

2011-07-07T21:05:00.003-04:00

This morning Aspen went for his hernia operation. It all started about a month ago when I asked Jamie to check out his *cough, cough* boys down there...they looked off and me not being equipped with that equipment, I was not sure. He checked him out, twice after first time a quick glance was not good enough for me and we both were WOW, one was almost 10 times the size of the other! After a quick trip to the emergicenter, family doctors, ultrasound and urologist appointment, all within the next day, we were told to come back to the urologist two weeks later. That was I who brought him and as I told the Doctor it went up and down in size he was utmost certain it was a hernia. So July 7th was scheduled as his surgery date, which was today! Jamie and I awoke at 4.30am got ready, woke up Ryder and Eve and left by 5.30am with Celeste and Aspen. Yes, we drugged poor Celeste with us, but in all honesty, I think it did good for Aspen, he had yet another familiar face to support him...and Jamie and I had another to keep our minds off what usually goes through your head during your separation time....you know, the absolutely horrible handing your son off to a complete stranger and watching him stare at you, the.whole.way.down.that.LONG.hallway! Yes, they let us walk and hold him a bit longer than most and he actually took it much better than I expected, no tears{at least that we saw} and his face....I will never forget that. I still see Dawson clearly, that never leaves, it permanently is embedded into your brain and even more it is stitched within your heart, breaking it into a million pieces. But see, they do not see that, you need to be strong for them, they see you fall apart, how are they supposed to handle it? So you keep all the pieces and some magic is worked when you hold them again, all fixed up, that the magic brings it all back together! I do not know how Doctors, nurses, ALL medical staff do it, but I have a deep admiration for them.....they can be as arrogant as they want or late or whatever! They have fixed two of my sons, at such a young age, which I will never be able to thank them enough. I hope they know the good they do.....I hope people appreciate more than they should.

Yes, Aspen was back to himself the moment we got home. He has been acting like he never even had surgery....are we in for it tomorrow??? Hopefully a good nights sleep will be next and a good one. Aspen has sure amazed me, that little ball of love, so sweet to the kiss. I just love him so much and am so glad and thankful today is over, behind us and he is safe! Time to move on after these past two rough weeks, time to enjoy this summer and life!

Life is short and such a beautiful ride, enjoy every moment, I know I am savoring it, are you? I sure hope so, especially if you are reading this, that means your someone special in my life, someone who means a lot to me and thank you for being here.........

Steeking....

2011-07-06T06:07:00.000-04:00

{oh man, a lost post never published, so sorry for my absent mindedness.....}

The other week I was so fortunate to attend a workshop on steeking with my dear friend Kim. I had a wonderful day, girls day out! And I must say, steeking still scares the living you know what out of me to do THAT{in case you do not know, check it out here on what steeking is} to a sweater I would knit, I found it fascinating but even more I enjoyed the teacher, Ragga, a lovely women from Iceland, yes, I said Iceland!!LOL! She has family around here and did a workshop at a local yarn store in Emmaus, Conversational Threads, if ever in the area, you NEED to check it out, a darling shop filled to the brim with lovely yarn and more! I am so fascinated by the thought of meeting people who knit and love it much like I do AND have been brought together by Ravelry. I have "met" people all over the world. So Ragga was a wonderful teacher, but even more would I enjoy just sitting down one day and chatting with her and I hope to one day soon for she is coming back to the States again in January! Even more so, I have told dh I want to go on one of her knitting tours in Iceland for our 25 year anniversary.....that is in 10 years and well since we never went on a honeymoon of any sorts, and have not been able to leave since we have little ones, well, 25th anniversary seems to be lining up good! Just hope she is still doing them by then too!

{oh, and darn it, should have gotten a picture of

July is here!

2011-07-03T08:33:00.000-04:00

A lot of fires this past week....a lot of thinking burned in the nights light....and a lot of smores eaten too!

A lot of blessings to be counted and loved too!

Sunday, July 3 2011. I am so grateful to have June past us. That was one of the roughest months in a long time to have come upon us. Although this week is not looking much brighter either.....Aspen has surgery on Thursday for his hernia. I am not looking forward to the emotional roller coaster of that day. No one likes to hand over their little full of life blessing to a complete stranger, to imagine his little nakedness lying there being worked upon....I shudder and cringe at those thoughts but have faith in God and those people who take care of him in that operating room. I know of certain Angels that will be there hovering over him, protecting him and us through this day. Yes, life is so fragile, you walk a fine line everyday and do not see that line some days.The blur and hum of life can block it out for most. But events like this past week and upcoming week make you see that line and walk it with even greater steps, for events like these make up who you are and what you are. I need to be there for Aspen, pull myself up and gather all the strength I have right now and be a strong mama. We both are fortunate to have a strong man to hold us a well, Jamie my husband and Aspens father. Together we support each other as well as this family. So, I look forward to it being a week from today, to have this all behind us and enjoying the rest of this beautiful summer!

And some toad hunting after the fire and before bed...three in one night, lets see if we can beat that sometime these next couple of weeks!

The glimmer of light, flickering in the distance?

2011-06-30T07:27:00.000-04:00

I cannot tell you how much I have appreciated the kind words to those who have left comments....I am so grateful to know that you care and are thinking of me in this tough road I am traveling right now. It really has helped and THANK YOU!!!

Today I believe will be the turning point, see I have yet to fully miscarry and today I am visiting the midwife and getting the closure that my body will not allow. My body is not cooperating and holding onto this or whatever is left, it did the same last time and dragged out for 3 weeks........I need it too be over and start anew, my body that is. After talking to the midwife last night, I bawled, cried, and silent screamed in the tub, I needed that. It felt wonderful! Dh came home from work early too....he really should not have, but did. I love that man so much.......we are perfectly matched for each other....though not perfect, as no one is and neither am I, he comes to me and comforts me like no other can or has is my life! Thank you love, you mean so much to me.

Last night Jamie and I stayed up with Ryder and Eve to watch the movie Signs. Eve was terrified afterwards to go to bed. Jamie and I went to bed long before those two did and well, lets just say I found this picture this morning and I cannot express words to my emotions when I saw this. It makes everything we go through worth it.....past and present and future......

Lost.....

2011-06-29T11:14:00.000-04:00

Today, is a day I wish I had someone to scoop me up and cuddle me tight.....I think the reality has finally hit me today.......One of those days where I would love someone to make the decisions for me......it hurts, for many reasons.....I know there will be a light, but today, there is only the darkness I feel inside of me......I will be better, this is a bump and I look forward to it being a past memory!

A loss......

2011-06-27T18:27:00.000-04:00

The Saturday before Fathers day I took a pregnancy test. I was no where near ready for that test to be positive as I was due to ovulate that weekend. I had some odd signs and told myself to take one, what the heck right, not going to be positive I reassured myself! So when I looked at the positive test, it threw me for a loop. A whirlwind of everything was felt, but something was off.......something called intuition. Fast forward to Tuesday, I started spotting. It stopped and by this past Saturday night it started again and I lost what was not meant to be right now.This was the second miscarriage for us, the first took place between Leif and Sawyer. That story was somewhat the same, I never even knew I was pregnant, spotted for three weeks and it never even occurred to me I might be pregnant for my period was right on time. Only to arrive in Ohio and have the event happen there of all places. It was bad, really bad, alone and a lot of emotions. But my husband who has been and always will be my hero, flew into Ohio and drove me home. I enjoyed his company, even though we lost a little one. But Sawyer rejoined our family, our Spirit Baby{story from a Baby Catcher: Chronicles of a Modern Midwife by Peggy Vincent, a very good read}. I believe in time, this one too shall catch up with us.....in time!

So to help me deal with the loss I started a stole to wrap around and make me remember this experience. I smile a sad smile for now. Even though this is a loss, it is a lesson about life. I embrace most lessons, I try to learn from everything and it teaches me who/what I want to become. What path I must walk upon next. Yes, I was on a path for me and still am......just not sure right now which one I should continue on or a new one?Back to the stole, here is an interesting event: I was winding the yarn and Sawyer took notice I had chosen the same color as his sweater I had knit for him. Funny how you can do something subconsciously and if you do not tune in, you might miss a pretty significant meaning behind it........I love that about life, so much meaning in the little things! A color can mean so much.......I had lost Sawyer and he came back to us, I lost another and choose the same color....amazing huh?

And I think I might know why I have not been blogging lately....face book. Yes, I signed back on over the winter, but you know, I just have a hard dilemma about it....I am not the person who wants to live in the virtual world. I love to hear a real voice when you have something to say to me......especially about something like this event, {so, if you are reading this, PLEASE do not face book me or email me if you are a person who can pick up the phone and say what you want to me.....just a little favor I am asking!} I in return will be posting more pictures and more stories about our life and spend much less time on face book, after all, this was started as a journal to look back in time and smile, even when a ripple occurs and will soon settle!
Enjoy life, savor it and live it out in the real world with the realness it has to offer!

Happy Father's Day....

2011-06-19T16:10:00.000-04:00

to the most wonderful father and husband I know and am so lucky to be able call my husband! I love you Jamie and wish you have a wonderful day! Caught you snoozing in the rocking chair for a tiny second......I just love how a little rest can boost you back into action! I love the laid back kinda guy you are!You are a wonderful, kind, and loving father to our children, they and I are so lucky to have you in our life!

I love you and hope your day is remarkable and a unforgettable fathers day!

On a side note, there is so much running around this house since school has let out.....busier than when they were in school! I am beat somewhat all ready and am looking forward to some lazy days of summer around here, so come on and co-operate around here......haha, one can wish huh? Not in a family of this size! I have been away from blogging, just getting by with a little here and a little there, I miss it and hope this summer is filled with lots of little adventures to be had by everyone. No big trips planned and am looking forward to the little trips we have tucked away in our minds to do. Now to actually doing them.....enjoy your fathers day and hope it is a good one, for everyone!

Happy 7th Birthday Sawyer!

2011-06-15T17:55:00.000-04:00

Yes, 7 years ago today little Sawyer guy made it Earth-side. I remember that day like yesterday......you were my first homebirth baby! I still recall you holding your hand to your face while traveling down too, OUCH! Ah, the joys of motherhood, well worth it!

Happy birthday Sawyer!!! Hope your day has been great! Love you, Mom and Dad!

Strawberry Festivial time and a heartmelt picture!

2011-06-07T15:51:00.000-04:00

Last Saturday was the most gorgeous day weather wise I can remember in a very, very, very long time! We spent the whole afternoon and early evening at the Prout's Jollyview Farm in Oley at their 4th annual Strawberry Jam. It was so relaxing, we did not even think of going home, we just relaxed and enjoyed ourselves!

Eve snapped these shots below....I love them and hope you enjoy too!

Now the pictures below reveal the task of a big brother taking a hay/tractor ride with his youngest brother who adores tractors.....Ryder did not sign up for the final task of Aspen's day, but never complained of the extra duty he had to tow.........

his little brother falling asleep in his big brother's arms.......priceless and pulls every heart string imaginable to a mother! All ready Ryder is ahead in fathering skills.......man, one day he will make an incredible father....one day, my little guy will be a wonderful father!

School is OUT!

2011-06-07T15:17:00.000-04:00

Today was their last day of school, bring on the much needed vacation!!! This school year, Ryder starts High School, Dawson starts Middle School and Griffen starts Kindergarten........how time flies, I have NO IDEA!

But I love it and them so much and would not want my life any other way, EVER!

First grade field trip to the Reading Phillie's, just looking at this picture makes me HOT, as it was SWELTERING that day! The children managed so well for what they were dealt, so proud of them!

Dawson's kindergarten buddy luncheon...another hot, but very fun time had by all!

First jump into the pool this year is to Tessa, then Sawyer! COLD! and dirty.......still is, but cloudy dirty, in time right?

Dawson's moving up ceremony....wow, two middle schoolers and a high schooler......time flies!

Memorial Day weekend @ the beach!

2011-06-07T14:52:00.000-04:00

Our long time college friends, Oliver and Susanne, invited us a while ago to spend Memorial Day at Susanne's Grandmother's house in Seaside Park/Heights, New Jersey. Oh, I would say we planned this last year? I am so glad we went and am so appreciative of their kindness and hospitality of having all of us Freeds+1Eddinger{friend of Ryder's} at their house. What a joy and honor it was to spend a beautiful weekend with them! Thank you again Oliver and Susanne, I hope you are all recovered from us, we know it was a lot of hard work to have us there and we really appreciated your kindness!

Pie in your face!

2011-05-27T10:54:00.002-04:00

Life is good, great actually, living here in the Oley Valley. This is one of those once in a lifetime experiences.....see, Ryder's name was chosen to throw a pie in the face of the principle Mr. Marks or another teacher from a pie sale earlier in the year by Market Day. We got to the school a bit early and we kept the elementary school age ones with us, they and us{parents}did not want them to miss their big brother's moment of fame! We ended up talking a bit too long to Mrs. Reber{secretary} and JUST missed him pieing Mr. Brosky! Mrs. Reber ran out onto the gym floor{such a sweetheart, love her so much!} and told Mr. Marks Ryder has to do it again for his siblings missed it.......this is where it gets good, and how can it get any better, really???? Mr. Marks knew the perfect candidate....Mrs. Simyak, the elementary school principle!!! She so graciously accepted, WOW! This was a chance of a lifetime and a moment I shall smile every time I think of it, thank you Oley Valley School district.........my children will have such fond memories of this place!

2 Post in May???

2011-05-24T11:01:00.000-04:00

Wow, really? Ha, oh well!! I guess I have been away too long from blogging! Not much new, but yet a lot going on? Does that make any sense? Life here has been hectic as it always is in May.....chaperons on school trips, volunteering for school activities, concerts and baseball games, I know I am missing a ton of activities but you get the idea right? Busy, so I am really looking forward to this summer. A summer not like last years, nope not gonna do that again for sure!

One new venture in my life....I have given in and joined a gym and hired a personal trainer! This has been something I thought of doing all my life, but never did! Now I can say I have and whew, bit over a week into it and loving it! Never thought I would like a gym, but Natalie, you are the best inspiration and I thank you for that! You have inspired me in a new path and I am really blessed to have you and your friendship in my life. 6am workouts are rough, but really a easy thing for me to do for I am an early riser and this gives me the burst of energy to accomplish so much more around the house....yeah, it is a good thing! I will be with him till shortly after my 36th birthday, Happy Birthday to me right? Yes, it will be and I am still trying to catch up with the old me, chasing her daily! I am really looking forward to the future, I know many questions are going to be answered after I shed the old me........time will tell, huh?

Now to a taste of what has been going on around here and first, let me ask you to please excuse the blurry pictures. It is really hard to hold still when holding either a baby or little one and take pictures from afar, without a tripod too! I love imperfect pictures, but these were a bit too shaky, but still do able!

Dawson at his 5th grade concert, every other year they rotate, Christmas in December or Patriotic in May. Ryder and Eve both were Chirstmas themed in their years so this was new to us and I LOVED it! Excellent concert, especially the end where students from the audience could come on up and sing too.....none of ours did, Eve was asked to come for she is in the 6th grade chorus but Ryder, Tessa, Leif or Sawyer could have but did not.....mmmm, next time there will be bribes!

Dawson even got to be one of the two to deliver the flowers to Miss Barone, how cool of him, huh! Great job Dawson, both are very proud of you!

Ryder and Eve, the last dance of the school year and all grades were invited. They will not be together till Eve enters high school....WOW, sad, lets not go there yet!

Ryder, before his last Middle School Band concert. He has grown, taller than me, bigger shoe size than his father....wow, tears of joy and sadness, does it ever get easier? Yes, I have noticed it gets better and better the older you get, best has yet to come right? I have noticed he smiles a lot more since his braces, strange isn't it? Usually the other way around, no?

And later this week he shall be one of the lucky ones......this will definitely make the blog, stay tuned!

Happy 36th Birthday Love!

2011-05-07T22:50:00.000-04:00

Yes, the man of my dreams is 36 today......I am the luckiest women in the world!

Happy Birthday, I love you and look forward to so many more with you!

Art Show

2011-04-29T13:09:00.000-04:00

Wow, what a great year of artwork we saw last night......I was so impressed with everything, even the kids were so happy and excited to show us their work, including Leif and Sawyer. Those two are the silliest ever to watch, they have this brotherly bond that you see every once and a while. Silliness, but in the good way of silly. Overall, a very excellent year and hard to believe this was Dawson's last year.....where oh where did that go???? Middle school better be ready for him......for he is ready or so he says!Lol!

Easter, Egg Hunt and Braces and then I am caught up, I think!

2011-04-28T15:19:00.000-04:00

We were sick with the stomach bug for the second year in a row.....candy is not really being enjoyed much anymore around here. I did not put out the chocolate, so I hope the bad thoughts have been spared.

Celeste in her new tree. A Thundercloud Plum {i think thats the name......}

Ryder, in his new braces and a shaved head{have not done that in years, he was so happy!}

Now, Elementary art show tonight.......pictures of lots of beautiful artwork to share soon.......

April.....in a nutshell

2011-04-28T14:55:00.004-04:00

Man, I really need to catch up, so really quick.......

Dawson in his 5th grade play, great job Dawson, I would have peed my pants, you did awesome!

Dawson at baseball, I did pee my pants in 2nd grade while on 2nd base, scared to run home so I went hahaha!

Celeste eating grass at the game.

Another sweater for Celeste.

He really is good and Jamie and I are really impressed by his skills!

Griffen, got pushed by a girl into a mud puddle.......my kids are so sweet and this is how they are rewarded for their kindness!

Aspen!

Next are dyeing of eggs, then cracking the shells for red-beet eggs. I believe they like cracking them best.....

Ryder got spacers last week....the day before his birthday and this morning he got the top braces on....should be fun, a boy in pain! If he is anything like his father, should be a good old whining up a storm about the pain......did I ever mention my famous quote...If men had to give birth, we would be extinct! My girls have said it to boys at school, they get weird looks but can you imagine the memories that will got through those boys heads when their wives are in labor.....man, those Freed girls were right, heehee!

Sorry so short, I have more pictures to post and write about....art show tonight, good grief, summer vacation will be here before you know it~yippee!

Happy 14th Birthday Ryder!

2011-04-22T12:59:00.000-04:00

14.....such a big number, but small to comparison of the whole journey of life. Right now, I am fighting a sickness, so the feeling in my gut might be that!LOL! Really, the scary part of it all, it is starting to feel like 14 years ago....this ride has bee one that I plan on riding to the end, loving every moment and not wanting to look back for every moment holds something new and dear and what more could I ever have asked for, 10 beautiful wonderful healthy children and the most magnificent man I call my husband!
Yes, today he might turn 14, but he will always be that little guy who started it all, and that my dear Ryder, is something you are so blessed to given.......you are something wonderful and I hope you know it! I am so lucky you choose us to be your parents, we love you dearly, enjoy your day!

Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go.....................

2011-04-06T17:32:00.000-04:00

Yes, it sure has lately, and where it has directed me is to the Doctor's office. For the first time, our family has been run down with Strep. I guess I should feel lucky, but to be honest with you, I would much rather have the stomach bug...my reasoning is simple, short and sweet-strep is moving s-l-o-w-l-y through them, where as the other rips through all them, rather quick....maybe I should not be speaking of this and knocking on wood......just knocked and could you knock for me if you are reading this and I am DONE speaking of this!

So, we are really into April???? Really, 14 years ago I was expecting my first child. Oh man, it is starting to feel like 14 years too.....does it get easier or harder to accept this? Age does not and still does not bother me, but my children getting older, really digs deep into my heart. This is my oldest......14 years ago I was anticipating the birth of our first....I had no idea of what road we were embarking on, all I know it is a wonderful one, filled with love, the greatest love imaginable! 14 years later, he is now taller than I. I never imagined the day would come so fast, faster than anything I have ever endured in my life! Huh, you think your younger years blow by, but the ride just gets faster and faster, and oh yes, better if you can believe! I am no where sad or upset, just overwhelmed by such emotion, and emotion that is indescribable.....the love you of a child is unlike no other, so true, so beyond any truth in this world!

For the record, snow April 1st 2011, NO JOKE!

Celeste is now pulling up....just rip out my heart and smoosh it right there, nice and good all into the ground! Really girl, so you have to do this so soon??????

Yeah Bobbi, I got eyes for YOU baby! Next time you see me, better have some candy in your pocket for me....mamma got me ready for ya!

Where did spring go.....

2011-03-25T16:47:00.000-04:00

We had a little tease of it and this is how we spent it last week......this past week however, we awoke to some March snow, gone now, but still COLD! Please come back spring.........we miss you! <3 !

Spring please!

2011-03-17T11:17:00.000-04:00

Butterfly headband!

Outside drying!

And a break from the 10 sweater goal, as I finished number 5, a treat for Celeste, a spring sweater! Come on spring, we are READY!

Baby Kina

Madelinetosh Sport, colorway~masala

Buttons by Tessa Ann

Love life.......

2011-03-07T11:33:00.007-05:00

This year has all ready been filled with so much emotion. A good kind of emotion for me. I take life very seriously and want to live and love and savor every moment. I learned this line young and still live by it ""I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life", Henry David Thoreau. It stuck with me and is still sticking to me strong, especially today.

Yesterday was a rainy dreary day. We were all trapped inside the house which usually is not so healthy. But yesterday some magic must have been stirred about for it was ok. The kids behaved, Jamie and I were not grumpy and the dog actually for the most part behaved herself, even with my mom and dad here to top that off. So a pretty full house we had in this little tiny home. By the evening, we decided they were so well behaved they would get the treat to watch Toy Story 3. Rewind to 1998~I was pregnant with Eve that summer and it was a brutal summer. HOT, I remember laying around in the central air apartment, lazily most days. Ryder would eat lunch and for the entire summer we would sit down to watch Toy Story{the first one}. I would say by about 10 minutes into it, he would be fast asleep, all cuddled up with his Woody doll{to this day, still in his bed, and even loved without his cowboy hat for we lost it somewhere along this path of thing we call time}So all the Toy Story's I hold dear. Ryder is my Andy. I am crying now thinking about it. Remember, emotional year! So I have vowed, sworn, NEVER to watch the end of Toy Story 3. I am living it and it is hard enough for me! I know what happens and am doing ok on my own, slowly. Not *BAM* in my face on a big screen{again, if you know me, not a big tv fan, we do not watch alot of it, kids or I} So off to the tub I went, came down watched some and left the moment after the trash scene. I sat at the bottom of the stairs, waiting, only to have Jamie come to me, crying and hugging me. It is too getting harder and harder for him to watch that movie. Our life is so filled with love, from each other, from all that we have and all that we will gain in the years to come. I never thought you could continuously fall in love with someone, more and more year after year it gets stronger. No, I never imagined this life, nor could I live without it. Two people who truly fell in love and are still falling everyday, deeper and deeper! All that we are, are each other and some more has grown from that.........

Celeste, loves her Sublime cupcake icing~I think she loved the texture and had fun with it!

So, the other day I bought some kites. They have begged everyday asking if it was Saturday to go fly them. I planned all of us to go. But guess what, life changes hourly with us and Little Miss Celeste did not go down for a nap until 1pm. So, momma had to stay home {ssshhh, between you and me, I did not mind for I knitted a whole bunch of Sawyer's sweater, yes, I am on number five!!!} And oh, forgot to mention earlier this week I set a record, me to the doctors twice in one week! Wednesday, awful cough for a few days, went and got checked and I am still on Cortisone and Zithromax. I am so glad to have gone for I awoke on Thursday feeling probably the worst, with some meds in me even! I was heading downhill fast, but caught it before it really dug deep into me! Then off on Friday for my thyroid levels were off. Up my dosage on that too! I guess 35 will be a turning point for my health, as it was 30 for Jamie and his! So off went Jamie and nine kids to fly some kites. Eve snapped the pictures and all had a wonderful time. Definitely will do this again, with a few more kites and a mommy and baby sister too!

Celeste, with her hot dog lip. She is cutting her top teeth. Yes, seven months old and cutting the top and all ready has the bottom two. And yes, she bites when nursing occasionally and yes, IT HURTS!

I am not sure who took these, I will find out and give credit, part of me thinks Tessa did. I love the view from my children's eyes. They have such a innocence about being able to capture something we usually miss in our adult way of looking at life........

A blurred picture is a true picture. Life is not clear, nor perfect, it has its fuzzy moments and I love every moment, especially ones like these that remind me of such is life!

So ends today's post with more emotion. My first born here in our little hometown, in this very house in the living room, Griffen went to register for Kindergarten. Of course I did NOT take him, Jamie did! I would have bawled my eyes out.......so it all went well I hear.....not for me...noooo, not yet! We still have a tiny bit of time left to deal with that!

Girlfriend....

2011-02-18T08:33:00.000-05:00

Yes, a week ago my oldest son came home to say he has a girlfriend. I am totally fine with it, glad it happened later than most actually. So, Valentine's day he came home with some carnations from her......this is what he did with one.........

Found this photographic worthy memory this morning while opening his curtains. Only my son Ryder could mix romance with Star Wars.

Where to begin?

2011-02-18T06:07:00.000-05:00

Where to begin....this I must say has been a very rough past week. Since my last post, our community lost someone way too young, a 17 year old young man. It has hit home all too deep inside of me. My daughter knows his sister and I have met her on occasion so I do not know the family too well. But that does not change or effect how I feel for we are a small community here and it hit all too close to home, too close to my heart for my pain is strong and really goes out to them and what they must be feeling. Life was too short for him, too much ahead of him. I really am sorry for their loss and may my thoughts and prayers and everyone else, be with them in their time of grieving, healing and journey down this path of life. Hard week, really hard week for all of us here in Oley Pa.

So, with that being written, hug your loved ones harder and more often. I know I have lately....and will continue to do so in the future.

Tessa Leif and Sawyer skating on ice.

Our furniture arrived last Friday. This cabinet holds all my Madelinetosh, except for my sock skeins....yeah, I gotta kick this habit!

Rare moment in time, actually have time to hold her while she slept. This needs to happen more and after this week I really feel the need to do so!

Sisters!

My two brownies!

Happy 8th Birthday Leif!

2011-02-17T07:29:00.000-05:00

Eight amazingly short years ago, our wild man Leif was born! He was born during a snowstorm and what a wild ride that was! And might have a little something to do with the crazy side of him......I really think and hope that it played a role in his charachter! Leif, you are an amazing little guy, full of questions about everything......and smart, very, very, very smart! We are so proud of you and will forever love you!

Happy Birthday Leif!

Knitting goal this year is....

2011-02-03T20:01:00.000-05:00

10 sweaters for 10 children. I am 2 and a half into the 10. This is all for a family portrait in October{outside for the landscape will be the BEST time of year!}and more but I have to leave some elements of the picture secrete. And maybe, j*u*s*t maybe, I might have time to knit Jamie and I one. And guess what, yes, they are all knit in Madelinetosh Vintage. Uh, yes, really all in Madelinetosh, only the best for my best! <3!

Cabin Fever!

2011-02-02T16:57:00.000-05:00

So, I would have to speculate that there has not been a full week of school since December, again as this happened last year too! Late snowy starts, snowy dismissals and snowy off days and throw in Jamie working from home? This is a perfect mixture for pure insanity! But you know what? I am so not there for I foresaw this and had a wonderful morning out with some women{of the full aged type} which we met at a local coffee shop and talked and talked and talked. It was so nice we have more dates planned, even a Stitch n' Bitch in the wee first week of March{ooohhh, that sounds SO FAR away but really is not, just a short February away!} I missed my little ones dearly, even Celeste, but they survived, Jamie on the other hand, is heading out the door before dawn tomorrow~for more than one reason!{ssshhhh, now he really knows what it is like to not leave the threshold of this house for days!LOL!}

Miss Celeste just lovin' yogurt....LOVES food and mimics us at the dinner table. Can you blame her? She has all these faces to watch and come on, who really wants just breast milk in their belly when you have all these new tastes to explore!

She is getting big. Too big too fast!

Oh my, the other night I dug this out of the closet. It was Eve's flower girl dress in my sister's first wedding. Eve was 5, Maeve is 4 and oh my, she I think has taken it off twice since putting it on! Ask her if she is waiting for her prince and she giggles. Ask her if she is getting married and she giggles{and yes, the first time Jamie asked her who she was going to marry she said "daddy"}. This is going to be well worn by the time she is done with it!

Blue skies, a purely welcomed sight to see. I miss the sun, warm green grass under my feet and the ability to lead my mis-behaved children out the door to play!

Please oh please sun, come out tomorrow, even for an hour would be refreshing!

Snow and Cupcakes!

2011-01-28T15:36:00.001-05:00

We have had quite a bit of snow around here lately...and yesterday was a snow day off of school!

Aspen, loves being outside. He definitely is an outdoors man!

Griffen, another who loves being outdoors!

Maeve, frozen hands, but a heart filled with warmth!

Sawyer, summer born but loves the snow.

Griffen and Sawyer, either best buddies or worst enemies, ABSOLUTELY no grey area!

Love this view, and Miss Eve captured it!

The man I love and the dog we love, most times!

Tessa, future snowboarder????

What is she asking him?

This morning was an adventure out to try a new treat in our area, Sublime Cupcakes. My dear friend Jillian ventured out with us, and we had a lovely afternoon chatting in my kitchen, along with Julie too! Wow, these cupcakes were delish and definitely a treat to be devoured!

Celeste even wanted in on the fun!

Wow,

2011-01-27T13:27:00.000-05:00

I taught a celebrity to knit! How cool is this....my girl Tracy did a fabulous job on the Today show, enjoy the link below, she is a hoot!

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/41292093#41292093

A natural she is! I would have pee'd my pants, I nearly did on her webisode!LOL!

Great job Tracy!

Shhhhh, can you hear that?

2011-01-24T15:18:00.000-05:00

I sure can, it is the sound of silence finally here since oh, maybe Christmas??? Yes, Jamie is at work and all the school age children are at school! Now, don't get me wrong, I love having them/some home, and I truely have been ok with the crazy schedule, or lack of any schedule I should really say! But seriously, some down time for the little ones is so nice, they are veggin out in front of the television and just having a good go of it. I have an enormous pile of laundry almost all finished folding{hey, at least it is clean right? that is the most important bit eh?!} Oh, I have yet to mention a goal I set this year for my knitting...so, here goes it, I plan on knitting every child a sweater made from Madelinetosh Vintage by this autumn.....and yippee, I am almost done Aspen's, and that is Celeste's down below, 2 almost down and 8 more to go! Whew, is this going to be insane or what?? I love knitting, period, I just adore it and really want to light a fire under my bottom to do this for they are all so excited at the though of a sweater knitted for them{really, they are, I "met" with them each to see what color and style they wanted, they were so tickled!}...so, check up on me often, for I am really going to keep up with this goal! And speaking of goals, my weight loss is up to 15lbs so far....not where I would love to be, but where is that for any of us? Truth of the matter is, I am running/walking on the treadmill and have really dived back into my Pilate's, so I am feeling really great on the inside and that is a really important area to be in for my age. I can feel the difference all ready in the little daily things such as walking up the stairs, it just flat out feels good to be in a better shape inside, outside will come soon enough!

And I really must say how touched I am by everyone who wrote about my 17th post.......it touched me to know that there are people out there reading and keeping up with us and to know that we are not alone is a gift too you gave me. I am happy to report that even though Griffen had the stomach bug Friday night, by Saturday he was all better and my mom came up and watched the children while Jamie, Eve and I went out to dinner in Kutztown. No, I did not mistake Eve for Celeste...long story short, even had a broken heart. The boy she likes is not interested in her. It really hurts to see your daughter cry like that, I have been there and remember there really are no words that can help that sort of pain....I brought up to her and have on more than just this occasion that there are more fish out there, but had to say this too, and Oh em gee! did I realize I could sound like my mother and say, Eve, your feet have not even hit the sand yet! Yeah, I am old, and happy to be where I am, and really happy to not go through that phase of life again! I found the man of my dreams after many failed attempts! Eve read a quote to me too last weekend, "In order to become old and wise, you first must be young and stupid". Wow, ain't that the truth!

Wow, really again? Daddy/daughter dance this past Friday. Tessa did not want to dress up, she wanted to wear jeans! This girl is so like me it hurst! I am so proud that she wanted to do something different and it really did not phase her at all that she might be the only one there in jeans!! Ok, what I am in for can anyone predict with her?? Oh, and can I just say there is a jinx on the Freed household come the weekend of this dance....usually I am the one sick, but if not I, it always is someone else! And it was poor Griffen! Yes, that is right, after a whole week of no one throwing up, he somehow came down with the dreaded stomach bug. Ugh, I think I might have a touch of spring fever all ready!heehee!

Oh boy, Jamie is going to LOVE this picture.....his little Eve and her first dance. My, there are no words are there dear?

Four girls and four times the heartbreak for him!

I really ought to scan in a picture of me smiling like this when I was little....how about it Mom, do what do you think?

Pictures....

2011-01-19T15:22:00.000-05:00

that have been waiting in the queue to post, but alas, no time to write much about them.....maybe later, enjoy for now!

Deeper look at something so little......

2011-01-17T09:58:00.000-05:00

While holding onto dh this morning for dear life, before going back to work after a hard long weekend, I came to realize we really need a night out together, alone. I miss him, I miss time just the two of us, alone and no one screaming or needing one of us{Celeste nursing, especially makes it difficult}. Life here is hard, period. There has been s-l-o-w going sickness through everyone, between colds and yes, the nasty stomach bug, Christmas and birthdays, a missed anniversary with no date out and I am sure I am forgetting something, there has not been much time allowed for the two of us to get out. Time, money, babysitter, and more time has been so hard to align up for a night for just the two of us. But somehow, through all this insanity{the good kind of insanity of course, the kind that means something, you know?}, I love him like I did 18 years ago. Him holding me feels so right and I know how deep it runs, for it must to survive all this and we do it with no looking back or regrets. We trudge through the thick of it, knowing that this love has given us so much that we stick it out and wait. Just a simple couple of hours that we can sit down together and gaze into each others eyes and talk and wonder about what the future holds for us, what our life has given us and so on.......yes, we wait, knowing it will come and is something to look forward too and appreciate so very much! Something so little to others, it is just a date out to dinner for most, would mean so much to the two of us. Yes, you really do need together time and we know that, but that is one of the hardest things for Jamie and I to get to do. You would think running a house of 10 children would be harder, but to us it is setting up the date that is the harder of the two....funny isn't it? But somehow our love stays strong through it all, and yes, I am deeply, madly, insanely in love with him still to this day! Now that to me is more crazy and unbelievable than 10 kids!

Life is Beautiful......

2011-01-12T10:45:00.000-05:00

Can I even begin to write about my feelings today? Words come easy in my mind but when I sit down to write them, they seem to fade away. Today though, I am awakened with a sense of how fragile, beautiful, and lucky we are to live life. To have this moment in time, to be here, is truly amazing, how you use it is only up to you for you have been given it and use it wisely you must! Someone I know lost their all too young son of almost 10 yesterday, so I am a little on the fragile side myself about life. We take for granted the time we have, I think sometimes we all just live a run of the mill life, hurrying there and here, doing this and that for what reason? So with my children whining about school and having to go, I teach them that they are lucky to be going to school, to be physically here and remind them about Josh. They asked why him and the reason for him getting sick when I first told them about him, I can only say I do not know the exact reason, but I take from it that God sent him here maybe to remind us and teach us something, what you take from it is up to you, right? Ok, before break down again in tears, I want to stop and just ask that you go and hug someone right now or the next person you see. You never know when your time here will end and I don't know about you, but I want to leave a positive feeling when I am gone. Not sad, but happy and I want it to be known that I was happy too, for I truly am very happy and grateful about my life and what I have accomplished with it!

This morning we awoke to a beautiful sight of what life can show you only if you have your eyes open. Even if you dislike winter, you have to admire the beauty in it or your not living life to it's fullest.

Happy Birthday Tessa!!

2011-01-09T14:35:00.000-05:00

My little Tessa Lily is 10 today! 10, really??? You were so little and happy{and still are}, even when you were an infant, you seemed like you knew how to do this~I have always felt you were and "old soul". You have been here and done this before and I am so lucky you choose me as a mom! I love you my awesome little soccer girl! Great goal today and look forward to many more! Outstanding beautiful and smart too, you are beautiful in every way possible!

Love, Mom and Dad!

Happy 4th Birthday Maeve!!!

2011-01-04T13:14:00.001-05:00

Four years ago this afternoon, Miss Maeve made her entrance into this world...took her long enough, my longest labor, 22 hours but so worth it!

Love you lots Maeve, Happy Birthday!

Happy Belated-Birthday Dawson!!

2011-01-04T08:15:00.000-05:00

Happy 11th Birthday Dawson!!!

All right, I realized this morning I failed.....I will not be eligible for the Mommy of the Year Award for I forgot to post a Happy Birthday to Dawson on his birthday, a goal I succeeded only for one year in doing. So, I wish you a Happy Birthday Dawson almost a week late....I am really sorry, but happy to prove I am not the perfect mother everyone chalks me up to be!!!

2010 is going, going, going to be gone soon!

2010-12-31T07:22:00.000-05:00

2010 was not a year I am going to look back fondly upon. Yes, we welcomed the birth of our newest daughter Celeste and I am over the moon with her, but the rest of the year lacked good luck. I really am grateful to see it go this evening....and will stay up for it!

On some personal notes, I am finding myself, slower than I would like but I guess that comes with age. I find myself taking a longer path, one more enjoyable one that is. Losing the weight is slowly coming, I started running, yes you read correctly, running on the treadmill and absolutely LOVE it! Never would have thought I enjoyed running, might even take it up outside sometime, but for now, it feels so good and I really enjoy how it makes me feel, stronger inside and out! So I am taking some time for myself, not enough, but that comes more and more as Celeste gets older.

So, I end my year on one last entry for 2010 in pictures from last week, Christmastime! I really hope 2011 is a wonderful new year, for you and me, take care and thank you again for following me and my family!

Wet Bottom Shoo-fly Pie for breakfast Christmas Eve morning. The pie is from a local baker, The Black Buggy Baking Company, I have yet to officially met Felicia, have passed her by on many soccer occasions and other schooling events, but her baking skills are amazing as well as her story. Take a look sometime and if you are in the area, you NEED to try this, absolutely hands down the BEST Shoo-fly I have ever eaten, no arguments ever!

Griffen

Tessa

Maeve

Leif, who wanted a donut maker and even told Santa when they sat on his lap, he wanted nothing but a donut maker. I was in shock and so surprised! Needless to say, Santa pulled it off last minute and Leif ran around the room totting his donut maker while saying "I got it, I got it!"

Aspen

Celeste{do you know how hard it is to type her name on a keyboard? Go ahead and try it....tricky eh?!}

Wishing you a bright, happy, healthy, joyous new year in

2011!

Married for 14 years today.....

2010-12-27T11:07:00.001-05:00

together for 18 and still very much in love!

Jamie's anniversary gift to me, thank you love and Happy Anniversary. I look forward to the many more years of happiness you bring to me and thank you for the ones you have given me. I love you forever!