9/11, 10 years ago

Ten years ago, Jamie and I did what everyone told us to do. We signed Ryder up for pre-school, not really wanting to do so, for he seemed fine on his own, learning-wise and social-wise. September 11, 2011 was his first day. I grabbed my camera, crappers, all I had was black and white film in my camera{little did I know what significance that would hold later on} 9am was the start, so I believe the pictures were snapped around 8.30am. Not many people or children for that matter, can say they had their picture taken minutes before the world stopped turning and changed forever, at least how we lived here in the United States. I did not learn of the events till on my way home from dropping him off.....well after 9.30am. I heard it on the radio, called Jamie from my cell phone and asked him if this was a prank the station was playing. I remember exactly where I was, Cedar Crest and Fish Hatchery traffic light......I remember driving to pick him up, hearing again on the radio of a crash in Pennsylvania. I never drove so fast and hard, I just wanted to have and hold my son, safe with me and his family. I had no clue of what was going on, just scarred and terrified of the unknown. Days passed, silence from above, no planes flying in and out of Lehigh Valley International Airport. We picked up the pieces and to this day, I still carry them within my heart. The families, heroes, everyone who was lost that day, still holds a piece of my heart. They have helped me become who I am, my views changed from political to personal. I learned to follow inside of me, my heart told me I did not have to send my children to pre-school, like the "norm" of today. That listening to what you feel, is one of the most important and one of the hardest things to do in your life, after all no one knows your child better than you. Yes, the safety blanket we sleep under was torn off that day, but we somehow managed to pull it back up......but still to this day, it is a constant struggle to keep it on. One that I fight for, not for me, but for my children and future generations. I remain steadfast for what I believe in, that came to light for me from 9/11 and the black and white picture of my son, moments before the America I grew up in and wanted him to know as well, changed and forever slipped away from my grasp.